Last night, I got 'henna'ed out by Vinodhini and Venilla put a little more in my hair. Kenady and I were so covered in the mud that we had to walk like we had 10 layers of pants on. We didn't want to sleep in it, so instead we decided to stay up as late as we could, and then wash it out. This probably wasn't the best move, because we were going to visit the bird sanctuary with all of the beautiful housemothers early in the morning and then go to Fathima's marriage. And that means a sari. But, sometimes tired loopy is the funnest way to be, and that made our day pretty darn fantastic. The bird sanctuary was beyond beautiful, and the group we had was a whole bunch of fun. It was great to dress up and take pictures, joke and make fun of each other, skip rocks, and eat good food.
And then we dropped off some of the housemothers, said some goodbyes and headed to the marriage. Fathima used to be the third standard teacher, but had to leave for marital reasons. I only met her once or twice before she left, which I'm bummed about, because talking to her today, I could tell she had such an amazing spirit. Fathima is Muslim, and therefore had a Muslim marriage. Dr. Susan warned us ahead of time that going to Muslim wedding was a treat, not even Venilla had ever been to one before. It was completely different than Anbu's Hindu wedding or the wedding celebration we saw in Delhi. Anyway, before today, Fathima has never seen her husband.
Men and women are separated in this long hall by cloths strung together. Being a woman, I only know what happened on the women side, but I'm sure it is about the same. The bride came into the room and sat on the floor, head covered, and was immediately surrounded by sisters. Her sisters were sitting behind her and the bridegroom's sisters were sitting in a circle around her. Her mother was not allowed to help or to touch her or to be very close to her at all.
After today, she has changed families altogether. The whole ceremony was giving her to a new family. It was all really random and hectic, and no one really knew what was going on. Then, a few men dressed in white, probably Maulanas, randomly came in, had her sign a piece of paper and then walked out. This was the marriage. Then, from the men's side of the room, we listened to them recite from the Quaran, and being so tired, I was kind of falling asleep.
Then, the men came back in and presented the new sisters with the black chain- which symbolizes the finalization of the marriage. Each of the woman took turns putting it around their neck before they put it on hers. From what Vadivu was explaining to me, they do that as if to send all of their good blessings to her. After putting the chain on her, they poured Fanta into a cup and then water into another cup. They practically forced this down and she had to drink 3 glasses of each. Then, the sister who was in charge of it all, took a tray that had large chunks of sugar and eclairs (these Indian candies that I love) and started dumping handfuls of it on her hand. THEN, she started to chuck it at all the woman in the hall. Venilla definitely got pelted. It was so random.
Even though we were like 2 feet from the bride, we could hardly see anything. I am happy that her mother pulled me up so I could see some more of the ceremony. We walked out of the hall and stopped to see her for a bit, tears poured down her face. This is the scary thing, marrying someone out of duty rather than love. After everything ended, the bride and groom got to see each other for the first time. I hope the best for Fathima, a woman like her deserves happiness. It was a great day with people I love- and an amazing way to end my trip here. In India, the fun never stops.
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